I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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