windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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