I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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