yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
