i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
