Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
