I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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