I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And then my night got REAL pukey
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
