imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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