The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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