So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
