But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
