Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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