I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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