New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
