holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
