Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
