Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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