life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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