i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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