So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
