ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
