bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
