big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
