Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
