My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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