I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
