You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
