3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
