I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
