So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
