are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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