Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
