I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
