Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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