That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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