does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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