They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
