So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
