There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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