he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
