Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We had to coat check the pizza.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
