Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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