ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
