going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
