we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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