There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Found your dick twin last night
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
