I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
