he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
