Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
