Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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