i permit you to call me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
