My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
In other news, I just burned my penis
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
