Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
