You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
