dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
