There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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