Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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