How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
