i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
