Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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