ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
So squirting runs in the family.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
